Infidelity (synonyms include cheating, straying, adultery, being unfaithful, or having an affair) is a violation of a couple's emotional and/or sexual exclusivity that commonly results in feelings of anger, sexual jealousy, and rivalry.
If you suspect you are a victim of infidelity, chances are that you are correct. Often times clients know or 90% plus sure about the infidelity or cheating spouse, but want proof for family members, friends or court purposes. Patrick specializes in discreet surveillance to determine a subject’s habits through the use of surveillance as well as GPS tracking applications. We can determine where your spouse is going as well as who he or she is meeting/spending time with. We tailor our infidelity investigations to the specific needs of our client, whether it is simply for peace of mind or, in most cases, for litigation or mediation purposes.
On day 6 of this investigation we followed the male subject to a restaurant where he parked his vehicle in the back corner of the lot. Both the subject and the female accomplice were seen in the back of the vehicle for approximately 15 minutes. Upon completion, the subject can be seen getting out of the rear passenger side door, entering the front passenger side and climbing over to the drivers seat. He then drove the vehicle to a white sedan where the female exited the subjects vehicle and they both drove off. Due to the proximity, the investigator took the video through his rear view mirror in order to avoid detection.
Client suspected his wife was having an affair. After thoroughly discussing the details of the case it was decided that a GPS tracking device be placed on the wives vehicle. After a few days of tracking the car was located at a nearby hotel. The investigator waited in the parking lot of the hotel suspecting that at some point the subject would be seen leaving the hotel room. Instead, the subject was observed entering the hotel with a man. The investigator followed the two as they entered their room and used a key fob camera to record everything including the flowers she can be seen holding.
1. Improved appearance. If your significant other suddenly starts exercising and eating healthier, that could be a sign that they are trying to appear more attractive to someone (possibly you, but possibly an affair partner). If Mr. Sweatpants-Are-Just-Fine-at-a-Party starts wearing slacks with matching socks and a fashionable shirt, or Ms. I-Can’t-Help-It-If-I-Smell-Like-Our-Son’s-Poopy-Diapers suddenly smells like Chanel No. 5, that may indicate an affair. Ditto for a new haircut and new underwear — especially if your significant other looks the same around you, but significantly better for work or certain social events.
2. Secretive phone or computer use. Cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before, and now they do, that’s not a good sign. If your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign. If your partner never relinquishes possession of their phone, even taking it into the bathroom when they shower, that’s not a good sign. If you ask to review your partner’s phone, and they say no, that’s also a problem. Honestly, what could possibly be there — other than information about your surprise birthday — that they would want to keep secret?
3. Periods where your significant other is unreachable. If your partner is cheating on you, they are less likely to answer your calls and respond to your texts. You may hear legitimate-sounding excuses like they were in a meeting, they were driving, they were in a “dead zone” and didn’t know you were trying to get in touch. If your partner is unreachable while working late or on a business trip, that’s a bad sign.
4. Significantly less, or more, or different sex in your relationship. Both decreased and increased levels of sexual activity in your relationship can be a sign of infidelity. Less sex occurs because your partner is focused on someone else; more sex occurs because they are trying to cover that up. Another possible sign of cheating is that the sex you and your partner are having feels less emotionally connected. Yet another possible sign is that your partner is introducing new techniques and activities into your sex life. As much as you might enjoy that, it’s possible that they are learning new tricks outside of your relationship. article continues after advertisement
5. Your partner is hostile toward you and your relationship. Cheaters tend to rationalize their behavior (in their own minds). One way they do this is to push the blame onto you. They tell themselves that you don’t look the way you did when they married you, or you’re not adventurous enough in the bedroom, or you don’t appreciate all the wonderful things they do for you, so they deserve to have a little fun elsewhere. Often, their internal justifications for cheating leak out, and they behave judgmentally toward you and your relationship. If it suddenly seems like nothing you do is right, or that things that used to not bother your partner suddenly do, or as if you’re getting pushed away, that could be a strong indication of cheating.
6. An altered schedule. When your significant other — who never once worked late — suddenly needs to work late, and that starts to happen more and more frequently, they may be lying. If your spouse has never been away on a business trip and suddenly finds a need to travel for work, that could be a sign that they are having weekend getaways with an affair partner. Flat tires, dead batteries, traffic jams, spending extra time at the gym, and similar excuses for being late or absent altogether might also signal infidelity. A cheating partner might also suddenly be forgetful about picking up the kids, birthdays and other important events, etc. article continues after advertisement
7. Friends seem uncomfortable around you. With infidelity, you, the betrayed partner, are nearly always the last person to find out. The cheater’s friends often know about the infidelity right from the start, and your own friends are likely to find out long before you do. This knowledge typically causes these individuals to feel uncomfortable around you. The cheater’s friends might try to avoid you or to be overly nice to you. Your own friends may try to avoid conversations about your relationship, and they might overcompensate by being extra nice.
8. Unexplained expenses. If there are odd charges on your partner’s credit cards, or there is suddenly less money in your or your partner’s bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, etc., that’s a possible sign of infidelity. If you ask your partner about these expenses, and their answers seem untrue, it’s likely that they are untrue. Infidelity costs money: gifts, trips, wine and dinners, hotel rooms, etc. The costs of cheating can add up very quickly. If you see large cash withdrawals or evidence of purchases from places you rarely or never frequent, that’s not a good sign.
9. Emotional intimacy has faded. After a few years, no relationship is as intense as it was in the first few months. That said, we do tend to bond and to securely attach over time, learning to trust one another with our secrets, our desires, and other important aspects of our lives. That process is known as building emotional intimacy. And emotional intimacy is what keeps us bonded to our significant other long after the bloom is off the rose, so to speak. article continues after advertisement So, if your partner suddenly seems less emotionally vulnerable and intimate with you and does not seem to want you to be emotionally vulnerable and intimate, that’s a strong indication that their focus has shifted — most likely to an affair partner. Olena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock Source: Olena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock
10. When you ask about cheating, your partner deflects and avoids. If your spouse is cheating on you, the absolute last thing in the world that they want to do is talk about it with you. So when you introduce this topic in conversation, they may try to deflect and avoid. In short, your partner will do everything possible to steer you onto another topic, or they will shift blame for what you’re thinking and feeling onto you.